~impossibly-possible~

2005-08-10T13:37:00.000+08:00

i`ve shifted .
it`s time to let everything go .
and move on .
SHIFTEDHERE !

2005-08-10T11:49:00.000+08:00

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY AME !
i love YOU ! but YOU love me MORE !
everyone loves me MORE ! :)

HAHAH .
ngoh yi gar hou zhong for le . ngoh ge didi hai li dou ka cheow ngoh . make ngoh mm tak zhou ngoh ge ye in peace . HAHA . then hoi hou mah fan ge .

2005-08-09T21:58:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE !
apparently , SOMEONE didnt wanna sing a happy birthday song to SINGAPORE withe me , so i had to sing it ALONE . one lonely retard .
HAHA . i dont blame you though .

ngoh gam yat hou moon ar . mou yan pei ngoh wan wan . then ngoh yat gor yan hai oak kai , fan gao . seng gor ju ar . ngoh mm hai chun ju ar . ngoh hai fei ju . AHAH . mm hai . ngoh hai lack lui ! :)

wahh . ngoh yi gar hai hou moon hou moon cai shang din lou da da ye . ngoh hou mm xu fok lor . oi hoi fan gou le .

2005-08-09T16:49:00.000+08:00

i wanna change my blog !
i wanna change my blogskin !
i`m gonna shift !
catch me in action ! :)

t under

2005-08-08T22:17:00.000+08:00

wth ?
blogger has a problem . or isit just my computer .
shirleen , i`ll pass you your letter on thursday .

and today was FUN ! :)

ngoh tey gam yat gong ge gong fu wahh hou hou xiu ar .
ngoh tey hou qi mou experience ge .
gong hei gong fu wahh .
hou qi yat pak mm ji mut gui ye .
hah .
hou xiu hou xiu .
lei hai mai xiu gan ngoh ?

HAHAH !
you`d understand ! :)

2005-08-07T21:06:00.000+08:00

i like`d the songs we sang today during worship .
really nice ! :)

and charlie and the chocolate factory rocks !
i wanna eat chocolates NOW !
i feel deprived .
:)
HAHAH .
i feel like some CHOCOLATEy pig .
ohmymy .

oh . and i was pissed today .
TWO different reasons .
YOU know why .
there`s really something wrong with me laa .
wa lao .

i hate myself .
i havent really learnt how to love if i dont love myself , have i ?
i dont know .
i just hate my life .
now , that`s different .
i`m sorry for getting all angry and worked up .
sorry . i wont wanna vent my anger on you .
i`ll vent it on someTHING else , i guess .

and i shall continue typing in small caps .
i think theyre so cute ! :)
something`s wrong with me

many are concerned !
and they actually care about me !
i love YOU !
:))
HAHAH . love me also !

and i love chanxi and margaret !
do they love me ?
i long to hear the CORRECT answer ! :)

2005-08-05T22:34:00.000+08:00

ohcrap . i`m posting a single entry every other minute . that show`s how bored i am . yes . i`m bored .
i`m bored doesnt mean i`m a boring person , does it ?
HAHAH . who agrees that i`m a boring person ?
no one !
cos i aint a boring person .

and to YOU .
you know the answer .
i know you know .
but youre just waiting for me to change my mind ?
but my mind is set ?
cos i know what i want .
so i`m sorry .
yes , you know what i mean .

i`m all broken inside .
everything`s crumbling .
i`m all wrinkled , old and dying .
in one and a half hour`s time .
i will die in pain .
die of hunger .
sorry , i`ll be GONE , forever .

2005-08-05T22:31:00.000+08:00

and to MARGS and CHANS !
i`ll have to adandon you all on monday .
sorry margaret .
sorry chanxi .
and you all can see me , riight infront ! :))
LOUD lil me !
i dont want NDP to come , i can wait for NDP .
AHAH .

2005-08-05T22:28:00.000+08:00

i`m forgiven , because you were forsaken

i`m accepted , you were condemned

i`m alive and well

your spirit lives within me

cos you died and rose again

amazing love how can it be

that you my king would die for me

amazing love i know it`s true

and it`s my joy to honour you

in all i do i honour you

jesus you are my king

amazing love how can it be

that you my king would die for me

amazing love i know it`s true

and it`s my joy to honour you

in all i do i honour you

2005-08-05T21:55:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ELFREDA ! :)

WELL WELL .
i think i`m better off dead .
i`m like a ghostly human .
today`s NDP practise lasted for like 5648875146345164hours !!
it really did !
i wanted to just die there .
and peishan asked me to wriggle my toes .
i told her , wriggle alr , then i will fall flat to the ground .
and shits . my timing sucks .

and kevin`s been a good baby today ! :)
he`s sleeping soundly next to piggie ! :D
haha .

and i got my GB photos and class photo ready !
wanna see them ?
HAHAH . i look BEAUTIFUL !
haha !

and . GOOD JOB to camille yolanda racha stephanie adeline shona and whoever who went for the math trail presentation ! THREEFIVE rocks , riight ? haa .

and another thing .
i have a headache .
and i was released late for GB !
i wanna go FOP !
but , i cant .
theyre all there w/o ME !
how could they ?!
hahah . hope you all enjoyed yourselves ! :)
most importantly , miss me !

i feel like a zombiee .
i`m being baked in the sun , for HOURS .
and still had GB which was uber boring .
ohman .
i`m slow in processing my thoughts already .
i feel so dead -

2005-08-04T20:10:00.000+08:00

kevin`s in my shoebox !
he`s so tiny ! :)) HAHH .
and boon boon didnt come today !
i hope he doesnt come tmr ! :))
and we all will miss the oppurtunity to start falling like flies ,
and we wont die ! :)

HAHAH .
tmr there`s NDP parade rehearsal .
FULL U , summore .
i dont like .

mrs sylvia khoo came into class today , during boonboon`s lesson !
HAA . and come and talk for 20min ,
on the same piece of crab , lobster and prawn !

OHMYMY . chanxi , youre a GREAT influence !
margaret , you should adopt a duckie !
and call it margie .
and then it`ll be called margie the duckie !
hahah ! :))

2005-08-03T23:34:00.000+08:00

HAHAH !

there`s a kevin and a keLvin .
but of cos , kevin`s CUTER ! cos he`s tinier ! cos he has lesser alphabets in his name !
HAHHA . i`m sorry , i`m rubbishing .
suffering from err . body damage .
kenna timing for NDP .
wahh . boon boon ar .
im not that short okay ?
i stand infront , raise my hand , still cannot see me meh ?
i`m aching everywhere !
i need massage !

HAA . miss ng was rather crappy today .
fun and not fun at times !
miss siti gave me a LOLLIPOP ! (:

NDP was NOT fun -
BOON BOON deserves retribution !
wahahaha !
i`m so BAD , not .

got this from pris tan`s blog

wads the pt of showing others that u're happy
when u're actually not?
wads the pt of cheering up others
when no one cheers u up?
wads the pt of holding on to others
when u are falling?

i`m not happy , who will cheer me up ?
i`m falling , no one bothers .

but i`ll still care , for everyone and anyone .
including amaryllis , liling and amanda liew !
HAHHA ! (:
i feel so BAD !

to marg and chanxi !
thankYOU for the laughters !
and the morning walks to the general office !
and the after school walks to the general office !
and the walks to the to-i-lets .
and the walks around the secTHREE level .
you all make my day and night !
LOVE ! :)

2005-08-02T23:37:00.000+08:00

youre not alone .

you have me .

i`ll walk with you , till the very end .

but we can never be friends again ,

i`m sorry .

just know that i`ll be there for you when you need me ,

alriights ?

you dont have to need me anyways .

now , leave me .

2005-08-02T20:32:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AI MIN !

hahah . today is a crap day !
but we had much fun doing the math trail thing thing dint we ?
HAHAH . the huck yarn so stupiid laa .
not speaking english , then anyhow go and say we speak excellent english , thanks ar .
FLOORBALL !
hahah .
me and chanxi were SLACKERS !
we have a slacker song , riight chanxi ?

we are the slackers , we are the slackers .

we are the slackers of 3/5 .

as we slacked and we slacked and we slacked and we slacked .

we let a floorball into our goal .

we screamed and shouted , we screamed and shouted

we felt very sor-ry .

so we played and we played and we played and we played .

we scored a goal for our floorball game ! :)

and 3/5 won third place for busking !

does 3/5 rock or what ?

AND I LOVE KEVIN ! :)

and so he also loves ME !

wahahha .

LOVE !

2005-08-01T20:05:00.000+08:00

RONGXIAN just called me !
HAHAH . i`m her darling . i`m her baby ! HAHAH :)

yes yes , chanxi . i`ll update .
and shirleen ! i cant find you today . which class ? will you be in school early tmr ?
kor kor . singspiration rocked ? HAHA ! :) i think YOU sing better than you-know-who laa huh . no wait . not you-know-who . it`s EVERYONE-knows-who ! HAHAH . and you sang it for ME ? hahah ! i`m touched ! oh no , you touched ME ! bad bad . ahahah .
daphne . yes yes . who rocks ? I ROCK`d GB ! hahah . no no , we ALL rock ! :))
and chanxi and margs . YOU all are not alone ! cos you have ME . we can die tgtr ! if you want to die with me :)

OKAY . so what happened .
my weekends are super terrible .
had to go back to school for the open house , which was , PATHETIC . i guess , less than a hundred came ? WOW ar ? so successful . yes yes . HAHA . and yes , i conclude , pathetic . and our fancy drills werent as good as the one we did for cluster arts . why ? perhaps cos of the weather . it was rather , err , gloomy ? yeaa . gloomy , spiritless , lifeless and dead . stmargs was like a ghostly school , without SOULS . yes .
so that was saturday .
sunday . went to church , in the morning . ame was early ! HAHA . for the first time in 28914073748 years ! :) hallelujah ! hahah . well , we were late , cos we had to take a bus down to church . and we had to walk from home to the bus stop , and wait for the bus at the bus stop . and stop at the church`s bus stop and walk from that bus stop to church . as you can know , it`s rather tiring . so our speed gradually retarded ! HAHAH . i`m putting what i`ve learnt into practise ! :) am i smart or what ?
anyways . i saw bliss ! didnt think i`d see her in MY church . i saw her once tho .
but yes . church service was rather hilarious . take off that worldly nature on you and clothe on love . yes yes . something liddat . HAHAH . ame and i laughed at -.-" things ! HAHAH . we were crazy ! riight ame ? after church , went to thomson plaza for lunch ! fiona claimed to have seen me , but i saw no one , no one i knew in particular .
OH YES ! and happy birthday to racha yesterday ! i`ve yet to give her , her present ! god knows what she wants ! i shall have to ask god ! :) no no , i`ll ask her .

and today is FIRST august . i can msg alr !
BUT , i`ve a limit .
A VERY VERY VERY tiny limit , of 15 msgs/day .
SO , you all know .
:)

smiles !
we have boon boon for ss tmr !
and we have NDP pracs on wed .
GB girls ! meet at 3:40pm , so we can form up and get ready by 4pm for BOON BOON ! :)) inform the others , okay ?

2005-07-29T23:48:00.000+08:00

okay !
i miss rongxian !! =anyways .
CLUSTER ARTS is OFFICIALLY OVER .
no more stress for margs and chanxi ! :))
and elfreda and ashley ! :D
cheers ! sorry , i could do nothing to help !

and so this is what happened to me . one BIG BLACK BURNT hole on my left knee. and an orcheh from stephanie chuah on the riight . HOW WONDERFUL . very painful ar . anyways . thirtyfirst GB rocked stmarg`s parade ground . and THREEFIVE rocked BUSKING !! :))
HELP ME ! 3/51s on the way ! HAHAH . i love threefive . i love camille ! i love margaret ! i love chanxi ! i love elizabeth ! HAHAH . love me ! love me !
HAHAH .
and the concert . was OKAY . but had a really terrible headache ! all went well . and salina had to make me run up and down ! thankYOU ! but i still love her ! :)) and dont worry alriights ? all will be OKAY ! and GB had to volunteer to clean the birdshit and stains on the canteen table . how ironical . we HAD TO volunteer ! :) but we did it , WILLINGLY , i guess !

tmr`s cluster arts ! and acc to mr cheong . 64th is NOT coming . but that doesnt really matter . WE DONT NEED 64TH , DO WE ? NO WE DONT ! GIRLS POWER ! hahah . BOYS STAY OUT ! :))

i love YOU ! :) love me love me ! hahah . i`m so HIGH ! now that everything`s ALMOST over ! :D

2005-07-29T20:46:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO RONGXIAN AND RONGHUI ! :))
i`m too sleepy . i`ll blog later ! :)

2005-07-28T23:41:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SARAH AND LYDIA !
you all bluffed me !
ohmymy . i really thought sarah`s bday was on the 27th !
how can i be so foolish !
HAHAH .
:))

i`m blogging now .
and i`m forced to !
riight ? melshan ! :)
haha . yes yes .
what happened ?
err . OH YES .
chinese test .

walao ! that miss wee ar . i ask her ONE question . and that is . lao shi , ming tian de che yan you mei you tian xie han zi . and they she spent HALF and HOUR talking some CRAP , in the end , still never answer my question . WAHLAO . she`s damn NAGGY laa . no one wants her . she`s STILL a MISS . (: haha .

i saw miss ng at the bus stop today . tgtr with xiaoxuan and jiyan and cheryl woo . she took 165 . i didnt wanna take the same bus as her . so we took the bus after 165 . and we reached home SAFELY ! :) haha . what would it be like , in the bus , with her ? i dont know ! and i dont wanna know . hahah .

and one piece of advise from rachelkwan xiaowei the great ! no no no way is BEING BROKE a good thing . you dont have money to eat . and youll suffer . like ME ! wahh . i didnt have money for lunch . so i didnt eat . and i almost died ! and thanks to jiyan who lent me 2bucks and amelia bulnor who gave me biscuits ! :) oh . and acc to my research findings . about 80% of the fancy drillers are broke !! that`s why i couldnt borrow any money from them ! how USELESS ! haha . no no . they rocketh my world ! WO MEN SHI TOU ! :)

i love fancy drillers 2005 .
we can do it !
we will shake st margs building .
we`ll tear it down .
and our names would be plaster on the walls of the building .
every inch . every corner .
would have MY name !
and all of yours too !
GO GB ! wo men xing de ! :)

2005-07-26T19:46:00.000+08:00

WAHH .

okayy . today .

xiaoxuan and char made me treat them 1buck each okay !

they locked me up in the GB room .

and OHSONICE melshan came to my rescue !

thankYOUU ! and i didnt rape you PLEASE -

ahah . social studies test was IDIOTIC .

what i studied dint come out !

even if i did , it wldnt come out either .

wth ?

eat shit and DIE .

wahahh !!

boon boon is a terrible teacher laa .

i wouldnt think you`d wait .

but you did .

and then you finally gave up .

well , it`s alriight i guess .

it wasnt your fault ,

no was my answer .

and no will still be my answer .

consider it pure joy !

to hear me scream .

my laughter should sound pleasing to you .

the sight of my smile is able to make you faint .

one glance from me can send volts of electricity into you ,

jolting you back to reality .

that ..

eruoytsujadneirf .

is this what you think ?

HAHAH . i feel so , poety ! :))

2005-07-25T18:05:00.000+08:00

i HATE HATE HATE phsyics .
walaoo . i wanna CRY .
cry all my knowledge of physics out .
wth ?
i`m some rubbish laa .
WAHH .

and tmr there`s ss ! =\

2005-07-24T16:33:00.000+08:00

HAHAH .
i WONT wanna marry my stalker ! :))

oh . and i wanna change my blog !!

2005-07-23T15:38:00.000+08:00

snip snap woosh .
all my hair GONE .
now it`s ~~short~~ not as long as before .
i reckon it`ll all drop if i tie everything up .
:)

i NEED to study .
that`s a NEED .
NOT a WANT .

physics test on monday .
4DIFFICULTchapters .
we all can just die .

ss test on tuesday .
conflicts among countries .
UTILITY question .
i know NUTs about utility .
i dont know how i can get an a2 for my combined humans man .
AHHH .

i shldnt demoralise myself .
ohwells .
off to study .
but i feel so sleepy .

2005-07-23T10:39:00.000+08:00

OKAY . yesterday`s speech day was a blast !

in the morning . we had lessons until 11:45am .
AHAH.
we finished watching to kill a mockingbird ! :))
and threefive is busking for cluster arts ! HAHAH

CHANXI ! COMPOSE MORE SONGS ! x)
for ALL the teachers !
including peeYEE and our humanities teacher ! :))

yes yes . and after school .
sharon backed out .
wth ?
she promise promise wanna do reception with me .
then last min dont want .
wahh . make me angry only .
and stephanie chuah .
go watch the island .
and dont wanna do reception with me !
RECEPTION is FUN okayy !!

and and and . after school .
me daphne shermin and priscilla wong went to coro to eat .
wahh . the whole coro is filled with BAND GIRLS !
but anyways . we still ate at goldent rooster !
HAHAH . and daphne ! you owe me MONEY !
hahah . i owe melshan 1buck .
and who else ? :))

and then .
after that , we came back from coro .
wanted to watch the ndp rehearsal practice .
BUT BUT BUT .
cc had to chase us away .
wahh .
dont watch then dont watch laa .

and afte that .
pris wong daphne carmie and shermin all came to my house to slack .
i bathed alr .
then we left to go back to school .

then pris tan asked us to buy 3 stalks of daisies .
so after carmie changed into her GB u .
me daphne pris wong and shermin went to serene to get it .
4 pple with 3 daisies .
and we presented the daisies to pris tan .
and we sang ~
ming tian wo yao jia gei ni laa .
MING TIAN WO YAO JIA GEI NI LAAAAAAA .
wahh . terri~~BLE~~FIC singing !
HAHHA .

then later .
we slacked in the canteen .
and we bullied the ushers on duty .
and they were SO UNHELPFUL !
they dont know how to direct us to the canteen and the toilet !
so hopeless laa .
and then .

WANG WANG had to ask us to clean birdshit on the table .
waa . then me and shermin wanted to run away .
but can we ?
NO WE CANT .
cos daphne GLADLY volunteered to clean ALL the tables !!
hah ! we did it WILLINGLY !
and then , if that was still not bad enough .
ahsham come and ask us to shift the dustbins .
wahh . we are GB pple okayy !
call us EY EY EY EY .
we call you BEE ar .
anyways .
we did as we were told .
and we almost had to shift a pot of plant .
but it was TOO HEAVY .
and what to do ?
GB people are not cut for tough jobs !
so the NICE npcc people , in their ohsoclean uniform helped us to shift ONE pot of plant .
no wait , not help us .
help ahsham ! yes .
and then after shiting it from placeA to placeB .
ahsham asked them to shift it back , cos placeA was to dirty to be seen w/o a plant , if you get what i mean .
yeaa . so they GLADLY shifted it back .
and we told ahsham not to bully them cos theyre in CLEAN uniform .
then ahsham was like nevermind laa . it`s okay one .
wahh . we did try to help the npcc people . but ahsham gladly rejected the attempt to help them !
conclusion : we ARE nice people !

and we served the VIPs for speech day .
no melshan .
not serving YOU ! hahah .
and youre not a VIP anyways .
i go : coffee tea or ME , sir ?
what will the answer be ?
HAHAH . daphne`s technique !!
ME ME ME ! i want MEE ! :))

HAA . and since when did PASTOR BERTRAM CHEONG become the VIP ?
WOW ?
i thought i saw the WRONG person can ?
but cannot , it`s HIM .
haiyoo . then make me have to go serve him ar .
wahh .

anyways .
we had PHOTOTAKING !
and i was inside MANY pictures ! :))
and jiyan , the girl girl is jean make cry one laa .
NOT ME okay !!
i was just being nice , i was sayanging her !

AND ! mrs tay`s caitlin doesnt wanna let me carry her !
she`s one CUTE baby !! :))
hah !! caitlin !! ang gu gu !
ohmymy . i feel so BABY-ish all of a sudden !
HAHAH .

and all finished and i left school ard 9:15pm ? yeaa .
i think so .
and i reached home at 10pm+
wahh . and my head is still at it .
it hurts like , i dont know what .
and i got a sore throat .
i can die now .

2005-07-22T00:21:00.000+08:00

oh !!
and i think the name ,

FYNN .
is quite cool and unique .
sounds so CLASSY !

hahah . if i were called FYNN .

i`d be FYNN KWAN XIAO WEI !
hahah . weird though .

rachel is still the BEST of the BEST of the BESTEST of the BEST ! :)

2005-07-22T00:18:00.000+08:00

OH !
and

uoyveoli !!

AHAHHA . only the STUPIID people understand .
and i`m smart enough to make STUPID people understand stuff .

now , all hail rachel the great ! :)

2005-07-22T00:07:00.000+08:00

talking and talking

okayy . so this is what i have to say .

when you talk talk to me .

as in on the phone or sth .

yes , no .

it`s on the phone .

yes . you shall always have to be the first to say bye bye .

why ?

cos i dont wanna say bye bye ?

no no . it`s cos .

it`s just part of me to hang up after everyone else does .

so yes .

a lil advice to you all who wants to talk to the ..

OH SO GREAT me ! :)

hang up before i do ,

or we`ll never ever hang up !

HAHHA . just like how chel and i and gene end up talking for millions of hours , cos none of us wanna hang up first ! in the end , we all hang up tgtr .

okayy . that may seem like a good idea to hang up tgtr . but but but .

i still want the other party to hang up first .

AHHAH. okayy . why am i so rubbishy ? cos it`s alr 12:10am in the morning . yes yes . and guan you says girls at my age shdnt be online ard this time . yes , but no , i dont agree . melshan was online . and she agreed to do reception with me !! YAY ! :) i love melshan ! you must love me more ! HAHH . yes yes . and and and . i dont know why i suddenly talk rubbish laa . but what to do . have rubbish me , then will have rubbish things coming out . ahah . OKAY . i shall just listen to guan you and not come online now . HAHAH . i feel so OBEDIENT ! :)

2005-07-21T20:17:00.000+08:00

you know what ?
i`m so stressed .
speech day is tmr .
and we dont even know if we`re ushering .
cluster arts on next friday . exactly 15 days more .
and our fancy drill steps are still not all polished .
i really dont know what to do .
and i have problems with 3e5`s seating arrangement .
and shitsies .
3e5 got a C for class cleanliness .
and on top of everything else .
there`s tests and tests
and piles of hw
heaps of project work
and millions of questions unanswered .
ohmy .
i dont wanna get anything below b4 for EOY .
i need some moral support .
i welcome intellectual support too !
i need everything that can help me buck up .
i dont want a c5 for eng .
and c6 for chi and a c5 for physics .
i want at least a b4 for eng chi and phy .
a b3 for chem
an a2 for combined humans , geog and amath
and an a1 for emath .
any subjescts i missed out ?
for the time being .
that`ll be my goal , my target , my aspiration .
i dont wanna always be the one lagging behind .

i feel that i need to move on .
time can heal all wounds .

all it takes is just a little smile from you .
my day would be the most pleasant one i could ever have !
smile , and be my friend .
:)

2005-07-20T19:07:00.000+08:00

chanxi !
LET`S GO !
hahah !!
i love the cluster arts performance advert !
LET`S GO !

hahah !!
and i`ll blog later .
eat now , blog later .

adious ! :)

2005-07-19T19:49:00.000+08:00

OKAY .
geog test wasnt really that difficult was it ?
but it wasnt that easy also laa .
and nsw .
wahhh . crap laa .
i read read read all the comprehension .
read until FALL ASLEEP can ?
eeeyoh !
and wahh .
PE ar .
HAHAH . all hail chanxi who scored the goal ! HAHHA .
and yee made us run an extra round !
Y-EEE ! =
wahhahah ! tmr shall be a better day ! (((:

2005-07-18T23:32:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEREMY ! :)

WAHHH .
today is ONE BIG FAT MOODY day ar .
err .
i dont know laa .
OH .
and today`s test was like the ONLY test i didnt have to worry about in my like what 7months of sec3 life ? yeaa . WAHH .
the chinese test was do-able .
rather ~~easy~~ understandable .
yeaa .
OKAY .
miss s ho is one STUPID teacher OKAY ?
wa lao . come and criticise our history proj .
WAHHH . she dont like me can tell me straight in the face laa .
say until like , WA LAO .
anyhow anyhow say one lorh .
WAHH .
i`m so damn pissed laa .
but i forgive her !
HAHAH . yes yes .
i realised that salina is riight !
i cant really get angry with a person for a very long time !
or was that what she said ? or not ?
i dont know . anyways .

after history . was PHYSICS !
oh . and i actually taught kor kor velocity time graph !
HAHAH . i feel so smart ! :)
i should go sit with kor kor MORE !
then , soon , she`ll be AS SMART AS ME !
hahah ! :)))

OH YES . and it was BORING lessons .
until err . ENGLISH .
yes . we had DEBATE !
and OPPOSITION WON !
hahah . OUR TEAM won !
racha was STARTLED ! (((:
i was TOO !
how could we actually win when we have so LITTLE to fight about ?
WOW !
anyways .
we went to the library .
managed to finish qtn2 of my ss assignment .

OH OH OH !
and i went to find mr lee to ask for an extension of the deadline , ON BEHALF OF 3E5 (threefive better thank ME !) , and this was what he said !
me : mr lee . we need some more time to complete our ss assignment , do you think you could extent the deadline so that we can hand in our work by the next next ss lesson ?
boon boon : threefive ar . so youre their spokesperson ?
me : yess . we need more time to complete our ss assignment , cos the majority of the class have not done it yet .
boon boon : when did i give the assignment to you ?
me : on thursday
boon boon : you all had the WHOLE weekend and you all couldnt finish it ar ?
me : yeaa . we need more time , because most of us dont know how to do .
boon boon : are you all taking advantage of me anot ?
me : no , we just need more time .
boon boon : okay . bring your worksheets tmr , we`ll go through it tmr .

me started to want to scream . ALL THE WAY to the bus stop and on to 855 and to thomson plaza and ALL THE WAY HOME ! char said i was hypervantilating . but i WASNT ! i WASNT ! i wanted to CRY okayy ? WAAHHHH . =\

2005-07-17T21:51:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SALINA ! :)

so . i`m stressed ALL OVER .
try counselling me .
it`ll probably drive you PEANUTS !
ahahah . YOU SEE ?
i`m going CRAZY , ALREADY .
wahhh .
i wanna cry ar .
i wanna just cry everything OUT !

2005-07-16T10:09:00.000+08:00

wahh . ytd blogger had problem ar .
okayy . what happened ytd ?
OH YES ! gb rocked !
why ? cos there were NO drills !
HAHA . yes .
and and and .
i reached home at 6:30pm .
wahh . my father say wait 10-15min .
ended up waiting for what 20-30min .
wahh . everyone go home alr .
then me one person there .
so kor lin lor . ALONE ar .

and and and .
went to church .
HAHA . we had GAMES !
yes yes .
and err . this andre ar .
wanna come and argue with me also dont know how to argue .
what what pathetic here pathetic there only .
please expand your vocab laa .
and and and .
please laa . dont know how to argue dont argue laa .
i see you TINY i let you go .
and i shall not call you a weakling .
cos weakling is someone else .
but i think youre weaker . ahh .
nevermind .

and and .
went to eat alr .
left w/o tamm and ame .
ate at the kpt .
and went to pasar malam .
and nothing much laa .
went home .
and i slept at 1:30am .
that`s SO EARLY ar .

2005-07-15T18:45:00.000+08:00

i`m drained .
all drained .
this week started off bad but ended off good .
yeaa . this is all i can say .

I LOVE MELISSA SHAN and SALINA ONG !
I LOVE MARG and CHANXI !
I LOVE CAMILLE and ELIZABETH !
I LOVE PRISCILLA WONG AND CARMIE !
I LOVE DAPHNE AND PRISCILLA TAN !
I LOVE TAMMY AND AME !
I LOVE YOU !

ahahh . okkayy . i hope i didnt miss anyone out !
:)

2005-07-14T21:05:00.000+08:00

chi fan chi dao shui le

kai che kai dao sha le

wo kan shu kan dao ni le

kai shi huai yi wo zhen me le

shuo hua shuo dao tu le

wo xie ge xie dao feng le

wo ai ni ai dao mang le

tian zhi dao wo you zhen me le

bu she de she bu de fen shou le

she bu de bu she de san le

ai shi ni de wo shi wo de wan le

yuan lai wo zhi shi tu ran lei le

yuan lai wo bu shuo le

yuan lai wo xheng zhe cheng dao ma le

~~yuan lai wo bu ai le~~

this lin jun jie`s song totally expresses how i feel man . i`m just so tired , sorry . very tired . and shirleen arr . dont cry alr laa . why you cry also never wait for me and ai min to cry with you lehh ? i thought you say youre the kai xin guo . will make me laugh one ? and i resolve to be happy , like you ? so you cannot sad sad okayy ? okay .

wo cong lai dou mei you guai guo ni , dui bu qi . shi wo de cuo -

what can you infer from the above statement ? i forgive and i forget . and i never really blamed anyone for anything . and i dont get angry with people very easily . i`m supposed to be one happy person . supposed to live each day like it was the last day of my life . i`m supposed to live my life to the fullest . i`m supposed to , and i`m sorry if i didnt . yes yes . and i have DECIDED . to be happy , now and forever ! [[shirleen- you shall have to be happy with me TOO ! :) ]]

2005-07-14T16:06:00.000+08:00

okayy . i decided , to just not care about anything else , but everyone else instead . not care about their problems , but care for them . am i riight salina ?

cos , i have my own problems . the most i can do is to lend a helping hand and care for them , they should learn to solve their own problems ? like how i`m learning to solve mine ? but . problems cant be solved overnight , if you get what i mean acyq ? yeaa .

it`s there . and it`ll always be there until you really decide to do something about it . something to expel all these problems , all these troubles , all these worries .

and bit by bit .
day by day .
i`m learning to let go .
let go of what that doesnt belong to me .
return what is rightfully yours .
and live my life the way it is .
i`m happy , so you have to be happy too !
if youre not , then i cant smile .

anyways . enough said about the-un-understandable stuff .
okayy . i think this week is such an awful week that i wanna throw it away and never wanna remember it . haa . that was what i said like a few months ago .
but anyways .
i`m overwhelmed by fatigue .
weariness is growing from within me .
it`s devouring me ,
making me turn from dust to dirt .
and dirt to dust .
and i dont know what i`m gonna be like , next .
i`m just SO SO SO SO SO tired -

tired . very tired .
i`ve lasted for so long .
15 years 2 months and 16days .
and this is the first time i`m complaining , about being tired .
really tired .
very tired .

let me feel your love tonight

2005-07-13T22:34:00.000+08:00

now , i know .
now , i know .
i`m carrying everyone`s burden and i lay them all upon me .
no wonder i`m stressed up .

2005-07-13T21:01:00.000+08:00

kor kor ! here`s your all-time favourite song !

sing it .

memorise it .

and think of ME !

haha . thank me for the lyrics ! :)

when the music fades

all is stripped away

and i simply come

longing just to bring

something that`s of worth

that will bless your heart

i`ll bring you more than a song

for a song in itself

is not what you have required

you search much deeper within

through the way things appear

youre looking into my heart

i`m coming back to the heart of worship

where it`s all about you

it`s all about you , jesus

i`m sorry lord for the things i`ve made it

when it`s all about you

it`s all about you jesus

king of endless worth

no one could express

how much you deserve

though i`m weak and poor

all i have is yours

every single breath

i`m coming back to the heart of worship
where it`s all about you
it`s all about you , jesus
i`m sorry lord for the things i`ve made it
when it`s all about you
it`s all about you jesus

2005-07-12T22:49:00.000+08:00

Have you ever loved somebody so much

It makes you cry

Have you ever needed something so bad

You can't sleep at night

Have you ever tried to find the words

But they don't come out right

Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love

Been in love so bad

You'd do anything to make them understand

Have you ever had someone steal your heart away

You'd give anything up to make them feel the same

Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart

But you don't know what to say

And you don't know where to start

-copyright from JOANNA LOH .

i dont know . i wanna cry . ai min . you can cry on me , while i cry on you okayy ? and shirleen , sorry i cannot be happy , err . not yet , i guess . yeaa .

AHHH . i`m so stressed up . thankYOU charmzzy for praying . thankYOU everyone .

but i`m sorry . i`m still so stressed .

i somehow feel , that something`s not riight . something is just NOT right .

and i dont know what .

come and tell me what .

tell me what is it that`s NOT riight ?

fill the emptiness .

ahh . i`m going mad .

i dont know .

err . is it due to fatigue ?

or . i dont know .

some mental problem i have .

everything seems to be blur to me .

what i see may not really be what it is reality .

but but .

i dont know .

dont know .

and i dont think i`d ever want to know .

what`s reality .

cos it`s a scary thing .

face reality with me .

2005-07-12T17:48:00.000+08:00

okayy . i HATE blogger .
it just erased a very personal post that i posted !
OH WELL .
i shall blog about something else .

i`m sorry , i`m one lonely person .
and i thankYOU for making me so special .
YOU :
margaret chanxi korkor
eli salina melshan amelia chia/ng
elfreda ashley charlene
tammy and ame ! :)
yes yes . i thankYOU all for making every part of me a special being .
i love YOU all .

give it up . give it up .
no point in waiting . and waiting and waiting , in vain .
i`m sorry .
but i just dont know why .
i dont know what happened .
and i dont know what to do , if you get what i mean ?
but it`s okay .
give up okay ?
dont wait .
yeaa .

i hate to wait , sorry .
although , i`m patient .
i hate to wait for these things . yeaa .
-sorry .
i dont wanna wait alr .

2005-07-12T17:38:00.000+08:00

the dead fish . AND AND . it looks so puke-able ! eww . and i miss OBS !

2005-07-12T17:37:00.000+08:00

salina and me . going kayaking . i miss OBS !

2005-07-12T17:36:00.000+08:00

HAHAH . okayy . i shall post other pictures on some other day .
i`m hungry now .
and you know what ?
i just realised i have FEW friends .
or . yeaa .
FEW .
i only have NICE people like .
err . margaret chanxi camille .
eli salina melshan and ashley char freda .
yeaa . liddat only , i think .
oh yes . and amelia ng , and amelia chia too .
and no one else alr .
see what i mean ? countable .
oh yes . and i still have tammy and ame !
yeaa .
i dont know laa .

you know sth ? i suddenly felt so alone today .
like really unwanted ?
i dont know laa . not unwanted .
err . something like , empty ?
yeaa . sth liddat , but not liddat .
get what i mean ?
AHH . nevermind .
i think i`m not ina good frame of mind .
i`m sad , all over again .

and and and .
today . mrs khor and mrs tay had a fun time with threeEfive !
hahaha . we rawk dont we ?
HAHAH . oh yes .
and and and .
i realised kor kor has a really slappable face .
see alr wanna slap .
she can be macdonald`s cashier !
HAHHA .

oh . and today , margs and chanxi composed a little song for me !
AHH . and it`s not true , i`m not dumb ! HAHA .
here goes :

rachel kwan , temple nun .
likes to eat her hot dog bun .
with a big fat hairy bear sitting on her thumb ,
rachel kwan is very dumb .

AHH . okayy . i`m dumb .
everyone agrees .

2005-07-11T23:45:00.000+08:00

eee . blogger shows garbet words . NOT NICE . i want it to be in chinese ! AHAHH . i dont know . i feel so tired now , dont feel like , err . doing my history project alr . AHAHAH . i wanna sleep !!

you go to sleep to ! and we shall all sleep now ! so we wont sleep tmr . huh ? it doesnt make sense . anyways . i feel very err . dumb ? no , thats not the word . AHH . i dont know . i`m err . so ~~SMART~~ ! yeaa riight ! =\

2005-07-11T23:34:00.000+08:00

i waited and waited and waited . and i am still waiting , in vain .

you know what ? i feel so accomplished . cos i studied one-third of my tingxie .
BUT . it`s only one-third . i feel oh so lonely .
AHH . why why why ?
why scold ONLY ME when it`s not my fault ?
what can i say , but sorry ?

你的心情总在飞
什么事都要去追
想抓住一点安慰
你总是喜欢在人群中徘徊
你最害怕孤单的滋味

你的心那么脆,
一碰就会碎
经不起一点风吹
你的身边总是要许多人陪
你最害怕每天的天黑
但是天总会黑,
人总要离别
谁也不能永远陪谁
而孤单的滋味,
谁都要面对
不只是你
我会感觉到疲惫

当你孤单你会想起谁
你想不想找个人来陪
你的快乐伤悲
只有我能体会
让我再陪你走一回

thankYOU my friends for pei-ing me , when i`m ohsolonely . AHAHAH . and and and , is this the correct song ? yeaa . i think soo . this song makes me oh so sad again . neverminds .

i love melshan ! do you ~~love me~~ ? HAHAH !

i love YOU -

2005-07-11T20:42:00.000+08:00

HAHAH . i just read priscialla TAN`s and priscialla WONG`s blogg ! SO AMUSING . priscilla`s ALL keep talking about that elmo ! HAHAH . dont bully him laa . WAHH . wack him so many times can pris tan . he see you small dont wanna kacheow you laa . HAHAH . no , he`s a nice guy , who`d agree with me ? HAA . i know , SOMEONE would . priscilla !! let`s telepathy again !! HAHAH . what was she doing at jro anyway ? cos i let the cat outta the bag and said , maybe the BB guys are coming . OH NO . i shall not say anything of that sort ever again . let her come one her own free will .

okayy . this is the WHOLE story of why ONLY andrew came . okayy . err . friday niight , we ALL went for supper . and then we ALL went home . and he come msg me say , err . only EO-man and him going . and then i asked him with all his power and might to encourage the others ALL to go . HAHAH . then he come tell me , cannot one , cos they all sleep alr . err . okayy . nevermind . we shall all LAUGH ! hahah . okayy . then , the next day . sat . he come ask me if he should go , cos now , only he going . he say what siang ee cannot come cos nobody wanna come with him . then dont know dont know what . yeaa . so i told him , err . you wanna go then you go laa . community work , sth liddat . yeaa . then he was like . you want me to go ? then i said . err . you wanna come then come , but if youre the only one coming , then you might as well not come riight ? yeaa . then in the end , he said he`ll come . then he 2:45 come message me ask me if he`s late . wahh . crazy laa . 2:45pm . we still got like what 45min more to gather . wahh . it`s super early laa . and i told him , no . but we`re all in the canteen . yeaa . and he dont wanna come join us cos he feels WEIRD . yeaa . HAHAH . and so he grouped with pastor fuman for the JRO grouping thing ! HAHAH . and he had HEAD-ache . oh . and my panadol did help ALOT . hahah .
:)))

okayy . that was a rather LONG story . yeaa . LONG . VERY LONG . not as long and detailed as priscilla WONG and TAN . haha . go read their blog for more info please ! HAHAH . and i rmbr that day at ps . 9 in ONE machine . hahah .

my little poem

no one knows , the joy of having you .

no one , except me .

i love the way you smile .

smile more and i`ll be happy .

2005-07-11T17:45:00.000+08:00

wahh . i forgot to add . wanted to watch war of the world on sat night . but dont have ticks for it ! and then thought could watch initial d . but got no show ! WAHHH . so sad ar . but it`s okayy . i shall , err . go buy the dvd ! and i`ll invite you to watch it with me ! HAHAH . but pardon me , my house doesnt have very good sound system and tv . just an ordinary plain house . yeaa .

and and and . today is GB day . did you see me rain ? oh . i bet you all did . you all even saw thunder ! haaa . woke up at 5:15am . wahh . thankYOU for waking me up ! AHAHHA . and it was so super duper early . SO EARLY . get this riight . 5:15AM . wahh . and then polished boots and changed and went to school . oh ! you know what ? AHAHAH . i almost got a shock of my life this morning ! WAHH . my maid ar . and and and . went to pick steph , then pick priscilla and carmie . then we all go to school tgtr , in my papa`s car . yepp .

and and and . good job done to salina eli and melshan and me !! HAHAH . me and melshan and daphne . were .. mumbling ? yeaa . something liddat . HAHAH . mumbling on stage . wahh . then see the crowd so so so scary arr . WAHH . but i still have MY MEL SHAN ! hahah . and and and . i didnt know how to sing the school song ? AHHH . i had to .. errr . mouth the words and listen to the tune . yeaa . sth liddat .

and and and . we had to change out for PE . waa`hh . horrible ar . SO HOT . wa lao . AND AND AND . PE was FUN ! hahhah . we were playing floorball . and i accidentally stepped on the floorball and it was smashed ! kor kor is just so smart . she helped me fix it back ! HAHAH . yeaa . and we played and we won ! we are STRONG . banana ! haha .

i love candies !

2005-07-10T23:59:00.000+08:00

okayy . we had fun on saturday . HAHA . during lunch and jro . went to ps for lunch . and HAHAH . we were laughing like crazy . the blinds of the neoprint machines covered me and melissa ! AND MIND YOU ! there were TWO different coloured blinds ! AAHAH . i was behind the purple one and mel behind the black one . HAHAH . i`m laughing to myself again ! HAHAH !! AHAHHA .

tomorrow is GB day . see me RAIN in perspiration ! HAHAHA .

2005-07-10T10:02:00.000+08:00

okayy . i have the OBS pics ! and i`m missing OBS again !
melshan ! i love youu ! :))

2005-07-08T23:51:00.000+08:00

okay . i wanna watch brotherhood . i wanna have that strong bond that jin-tae and jin-seok have . i love the sibling love . the sibling love that they share , and what i am deprived off .

i want love . love that comes from you . do you get me ?
you`d probably never do . why ?
cos you`re never serious .
i tell you and i tell you .
but you just give me this look .
and i dont know why .
i just cant seem to open my mouth ,
and say the 3 words that has only ONE meaning .
now , i`m saying it .
i love you . i really do .
i hope you`d know .
i have to love you anyways .
youre my sister afterall .
who`s gonna love you if i dont ?
will you love me just like how i love you ? i dont know .

i just wish i`m not the eldest . and i get the undivided love that i want all along .
but i`m so blessed to have my kor kor ! :))

and i wanna watch brotherhood . WONBIN . my WONBIN . i think he`s damn macho ! HAHAH . :)) i`m so sleepy now .
and shitsaye .
i havent finished my GEOG hw !

and and and .
jingsheng has inspired me to write a compo on parents ! HAHA .
i shall , do just that .
when i have the time ! :))

2005-07-07T19:34:00.000+08:00

okay .
i am so sad today .
and angry .
but no .
i have to ba happy like shirleen .
hahah .
okayy . i shall try to be happy .
and and and .
i feel so fortunate .
so blessed .
so loved !

2005-07-05T21:55:00.000+08:00

When you were 1 year old, she fed you and bathed you. You thanked her by crying all night long.

When you were 2 years old, she taught you to walk. You thanked her by running away when she called.

When you were 3 years old, she made all your meals with love. You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor.

When you were 4 years old, she gave you some crayons. You thanked her by coloring the dining room table.

When you were 5 years old, she dressed you forthe holidays. You thanked her by plopping into the nearest pile of mud.

When you were 6 years old, she walked you toschool. You thanked her by screaming, "I'M NOT GOING!"

When you were 7 years old, she bought you a baseball. You thanked her by throwing it through the next-door-neighbor's window.

When you were 8 years old, she handed you an ice cream. You thanked her by dripping it all over your lap.

When you were 9 years old, she paid for piano lessons. You thanked her by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old she drove you all day,from soccer to gymnastic to one birthday party after another. You thanked her by jumping out ofthe car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.

When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming. You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.

When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, she taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, she was expecting an important call. You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags.You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front ofyour friends.

When you were 20, she asked whether you were seeing anyone. You thanked her by saying, "It's none of your business."

When you were 21, she suggested certain careers for your future. You thanked her by saying, "I don't want to be like you."

When you were 22, she hugged you at your college graduation. You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe.

When you were 23, she gave you furniture for your first apartment. You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.

When you were 24, she met your fiance and asked about your plans for the future. You thanked her by glaring and growling, "Muuhh-ther, please!"

When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you. You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 30, she called with some advice on the baby. You thanked her by telling her, "Things are different now."

When you were 40, she called to remind you of a relative's birthday. You thanked her by saying you were "really busy right now."

When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then, one day, she quietly died.

And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.

this is such a sad story !! ohmymy . i didnt know we`d do so much to hurt our mummies . but we do , unknowingly .

2005-07-05T19:56:00.000+08:00

OKAY ! I SHALL TYPE IN CAPS !
I LOVE STEPHANIE CHUAH ! WHY ?
COS SHE IS HELPING ME GET THE INTERVIEW DONE !
AND WHY ? COS I`M PROVIDING HER WITH THE QUESTIONS !
AND WE CAN WORK TOGETHER .
AND WE CAN HAVE THE SAME INTERVIEW .
COS WE DO NOT HAVE THE SAME TEACHER .
SO THEY WOULDNT FIND OUT THAT WE HAVE THE SAME INTERVIEW !
YAY !
AND SO WE`LL ONLY HAVE THE SAME INTERVIEW .
THE REPORT ON THE INTERVIEW AND OUR REFLECTIONS , WOULD BE REALLY DIFFERENT !
HAHAH . COS IT`S GONNA BE ORIGINAL AND FROM MY HEART .
HAHAH .

OKAYY .
I SHALL HAVE TO START THINKING OF SMART QUESTIONS !
-SOON .
NO . NOW !
AND THERE`S AMRT TOMORROW !
I AM GOING TO DIE ? YES .
SEE ME NOT ALIVE TOMORROW .

I FEEL SO SICK .
HAVING SOME STUPID SICKNESS .
I CAN JUST DIE NOW .
URGHS !

2005-07-04T10:22:00.000+08:00

okayy . i think i have a sore throat . i dont know .
and i somehow miss E n D .
i dont want it to end .
if you all didnt realise , it`s gonna be our last end .
just how fast does time fly ?
i dont know .
i should learn to cherish the happy moments .
60sec of unhappiness = 1 minute of happiness gone .
that`s bad , aint it ?

2005-07-03T14:28:00.000+08:00

okayy . i`m back fromr END stayover .
i`m sorry if i made you all miss me !
HAHAH . but i cant help it .

okayy . i have no comments about the whole rehearsal .
it started off badly . and it ended off WORST .
oh wells .
so friday really isnt my day .
okayy . i shall not write what i wanna say here laa .
ask me , and i`ll ~~gladly~~ sadly say it .
i`d probably cry again though .
but no harm trying laa .
AHH .
and saturday .
was another BAD DAY .
why ?
cos cos . i feared friday would repeat itself .
i am scared .
okayy .
and sunday .

things went missing .

tears were flowing .

eyes wide opened ,

to search for the missing -

oh . and the dance .

AHHH . i was SHAKING .

practically SHAKING !!

i`ve got stage fright , unovercome-d .

and and . i think i`ve gotten over my boy-phobia alr , i ~~think~~ confirm .

AHAHAH .

i still dont like this camp ,

even though drills were quite fun and overall it was quite slack and everything .

FANCY DRILL CONTINGETN 2005 -cluster arts ROCK ! who agrees ? HAHAH .

2005-06-30T19:32:00.000+08:00

i have no idea what i am doing online , so i should just go offline this minute .
and and and .
i miss RONGXIAN !
i want her back in stmargs .
back in threeEfive .
back where she was supposed to be .
back in her seat and talking to me .
i miss her spasticism .
i miss her laughter .
i miss her jokes .
i miss her everything .
RONGXIAN just makes me wanna laugh and smile .
i miss RONGXIAN!
threeEfive has become so life-LESS without her !
RONGXIAN ar RONGXIAN !

i shall hope she sees this .

2005-06-30T17:23:00.000+08:00

i feel weak and lethargic all over .
and i`m so sleepy .
today was a rather draggy day .
another useless PE teacher .
wtheck . got PE but useless teacher , might as well no PE .
yeaa . anyways .
i dont really bother laa .
and and and .
today have so MUCH hw !
and tmr`s CAMP !!!
haa .

i`m sorry .
my heart isnt there anymore .
or in fact , it wasnt there .
i said NO .
but you forced me into it .
there`s nothing i can do right now ,
no backing out and everything .
i`ve just gotta hold on and carry on .
until the day when all is over .
i`d rejoice cos i`ve gained freedom .
freedom from the stress and worries and burdens it troubled me with .
yess .
well now , sorry -
is there anything else i can say ?
or i can do ?
before everything ends ?

2005-06-29T17:55:00.000+08:00

okay . today was rather dead .
marg`s is sick ! oh oh . get well SOON-
and you know what ?
i`d be dead meat !
AHHH . but racha saved my life ?
WHY ?
okayy . the whole story goes .
i fgot to return the class keys .
and i brought it with me to st lukes .
and when i FOUND out .
i was like . oh shit .
i`m so gonna die !
yes yes . DIE =but racha was going back to school tho .
so she can help me drop it in the general office .
i hope .
wells .
sad sad day today .
i cldnt sleep last night .
was tossing anf turning in bed .
thinking and thinking .
i dont know why .
i think something`s wrong with my body system .
ah shucks . heck myself .
gonna DIE anyways .

who in the world even cares whtr i`m dead or alive ?
better off dead -

2005-06-28T21:35:00.000+08:00

i`m am so stressed !

2005-06-28T16:08:00.000+08:00

okayy . i derive joy from seeing people laugh . HAHAH . yes yes . you laugh with me . and i`d promise i wont be sad ! HAAA .

anyways . i was SUPER DUPER angry yesterday .
angry until cannot angry alr .
WA LAO !
MY FATHER SCOLD ME FOR MSGING TOO MUCH
HE SAID I ONLY HAVE 500FREE !
I KNOW !
BUT I MSGED 1230 +
WHAT TO DO ?
MMSGED ALR WHAT .
LIKE CAN TAKE BACK THE MESSAGE AR ?
BLACK FACE ME .
WA LAO .
IF I . CANNOT CANNOT STAND IT .
I WILL LEAVE HOME MAN !
AND I MEAN IT .
AND NOT ONLY COS OF MY DAD WHO MAD ME MAD .
MY MUM TOO !
WA LAO .
THEY BOTH PICK ON ME AT THE SAME TIME .
WA KAO .
I KNOW LA .
THEY DONT LIKE ME .
ALSO DONT NEED TO LIDDAT WHAT .
DONT WANT ME THEN SAY LA .
WA KAO .
I`M SO DAMN SH*TIFIED .
AHHHH .

sorry , but i wanna cry .
and to those who msg me .
sorry .
i cant reply , until this friday .
sorry . sorry .

2005-06-27T22:24:00.000+08:00

peeved -

2005-06-27T16:53:00.000+08:00

okayy . ghost stories scare the shit outta me and it totally freaks me out [FULLSTOP]

no more ghost stories for me !

and i mean it .

i`m gonna have nightmare tonight i think .

i need to think of something nice .

someone nice .

HAHAH . i shall think of rongxian !

oh where oh where is rongxian ?

i miss miss miss her soo soo soo much !

i`ll go to sleep thinking of rongxian , and hopefully , dreaming of rongxian .

yes yes .

quan shi jie wo dou ke yi fang qi
jiu shi bu ke yi mei you ni de xiao xi

[[ni dao di zai na li ?

hen jiu mei you ni de xiao xi le

wo bu zhi gai dan xin hai shi gai kai xin

ru guo wo re ni sheng qi le

huo make you shang xin

dui bu qi okay ?

ni kuai dian kuai dian hui xing can ?

yin wei wo very dan xin ni .

dui bu qi .

ke shi , wo yao wen ni ,

wo men hai shi peng you ma ?]]

HAHAH . why in chinese ? i hope you-know-who-you-are reads it . if you-know-who-you-are dont understand this . means you have a very low level of IQ . hahha . yes yes . read it . and msg me . i tell you , i`m worried . for the first time , i`m worried , about you-know-who-you-are ! HAHAH . <3

2005-06-26T22:52:00.001+08:00

i`ve updated the links ! yes yes .
and sorry , if ive taken a long long time !
HAHAH . busy .
what to do ?
oh i feel so sh*tified !
i havent finished my hw !
will i die ?
oh well .
that`s like , so obvious !
see me die .
watch me die .
i dont wanna leave this world .
but still .
i have to .
die die die .
one special word in my head .

LOVE ! <3

2005-06-26T22:52:00.000+08:00

i miss OBS ! i miss MARCO POLO ! i love MARCO POLO ! i love OBS ! oh no oh no . i am OBS-sick . after effects of OBS ! HAHHA . now , at this time , last week . i was DREADING to go for OBS ! but NOW , i wanna go back to OBS !! ahahh . i miss pulau ubin !! HAHAH . and i still have my hornet sting ! XD

2005-06-26T18:08:00.000+08:00

ohkay . ame and tammy ! i realised something . both of you think alike ! and that might not be a good thing ! hahah . yes yes . anyways .

nothing much happened today .
i`ve been quite outta sorts recently , for i dont know what reason .
ahahh .
and and and .
salina and hakim (if you ever read this)
dont try anything .
ahhh . stupiid .

and and and .
i dont know what to say .
AHHH .
this or that ? or both ? or all .

in the midst of confusion .
and i just found out that confusion isnt a very good thought .
oh wells .
i dont know .
i havent really been so confused at all .
or have i ?
well i did , and that was like months ago .
it didnt seem that long ago ?
i dont know laa .
i`m STUPIID laa .
ahhah .

and and and .
i saw pamela yeo hui qi today !
HAHAHA . pretty ! XD
pamela , if you see this .
yes yes .
youre pretty !
hahah .
it`s been like what ?
2years since i last saw her ?
yeaa .
WOW ?

oh oh oh .
and and and .
i`m gonna be the deadest person !
i havent started on CHINESE ! wth ?
let me die . oh . just let me die .

and and and .
kor kor . if youre reading this !
i cant seem to tag your board .
YES YES .
i tried it 5 times .
on 5 different occasions !
really .
hahah . x)
you decide what to do laa .

i miss school .
but i dont wanna go back to school .
i dont wanna face reality .

2005-06-26T09:59:00.000+08:00

ohkay . i`m sorry . but i`m still angry .
i will TRY not to be more angry than this a little anger okay ?
okay , wait . that doesnt make sense laa .

anyways . ytd fancy drills .
okay . we managed to learn all the steps !
we`re geniuses !
HAHAH .
and shut up GB about you know who !
i`ll get ~~angry~~ angrier .
HAHAH .
i know who`s burger king .
and stupid elephant !
i`m SMART , what to do ?
hahah .

SORRY . SORRY . SORRY . SORRY . SORRY . SORRY . SORRY . SORRY . SORRY . SORRY . SORRY . SORRY . SORRY . SORRY . SORRY . SORRY . SORRY . SORRY . SORRY . SORRY . SORRY . SORRY . SORRY . SORRY .
-try guessing the no. of sorrys ! dont count ! GUESS !! x)
and and and . yes .
i promise i wont stray , if you get what i mean . i`ll stick . like glue . you understand ?

2005-06-24T23:42:00.000+08:00

for the sake of MELISSA SHAN`s face ! HAHAH .

2005-06-24T22:55:00.000+08:00

I AM ANGRY !
SO ANGRY !
DO YOU GET IT ?
NO !
I SHALL SAY IT AGAIN .
I AM SOOOOOOO ANGRY .
ANRGY UNTIL CANNOT ANGRY ALR LAA .
PULL MY HAIR UNTIL ALL COME OUT ALR .
STILL VERY VERY VERY ANGRY .
AHHHHHHHHHH

I WANNA SCOLD
I WANNA SHOUT
I WANNA BARK
I CAN BITE

GO AWAY -
AND DONT BOTHER ME .
EVER EVER EVER AGAIN .
I SAY GO AWAY .
I`LL ONLY HELP .
THIS MUCH .
THIS MUCH .
THIS MUCH .
THIS IS ALL THE MUCH I CAN HELP .
SO ONCE I`VE DONE MY PART TO HELP YOU ,
DONT COME AND BOTHER ME AGAIN !
YES ?
YES .
EVEN IF YOUR ANSWER IS A NO .
IT`LL SOON HAVE TO BE A YES .
I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ANGRRR .
AND I EMPHASIZE .

SO ANGRY !

2005-06-24T18:09:00.000+08:00

okayy .
i dont know why i suddenly think of what i dont really usually think .
and yess . it`s all getting so weird .
getting so outta hand .

today . i went to school . in the morning . to meet eli . to do hw . and to do our amath online test . GUESS WHAT ? i`ve got FULL MARKS ! and i`ve got the answers ! -come and get it ! xD hahah . i`m so prouda myself . hahah . thanks to ELIZABETH ! x) thankyouu !! hahah . yes yes . and we went to marg`s house to do our physics project ! i`m so glad we actually managed to finish most of it . and i rushed home only to realise that i`d be all alone at home again . my sis called me on the way home . to tell me that she`d be going to church straight , and not coming back home . how helpful . and now . i`m home alone .

i dont know why .
but i suddenly feel so lonely .
so friendless .
this isnt a really nice feeling .
i dont know what`s the problem with me lately !

i`m sorry . i`m lost . and really confused .
and i dont know why .
am i really that curious ?
HAAA . i dont think so .
maybe i over-thought . is there even such a word ?
i dont know .

24062005
*found !

there`s this song .
it`s called .
love ME ! xD
hahah .

if you get there before i do

dont give up on me

i`ll meet you when my chores are through

i dont know how long i`d be here

but i`m not gonna let you down

darling , wait and see

so between now and then

till i see you again

i`d be loving you

love ME

2005-06-24T10:36:00.000+08:00

OHYES !
did i tell anyone ?
i was the RIGHT MARKER !
for ONCE !!

hahah !
yes yes .
GREAT emphasis on WAS and ONCE ! xD

well . at least i was the right marker for once !
hahah . on wednesday !
and tmr we have combined rehearsals AGAIN .
ohmymy .
my legs are still aching .
i think i`m growing OLD .
yes .
O-L-D ! =)

2005-06-24T10:24:00.000+08:00

starvation ~~NEVER~~ helps .
yes yes .
trust ME !
i starved ytd .
well . not really .
was hungry until i became not hungry .
now now .
does that make sense ?
oh wells .
it doesnt .
but whatever it is .
ytd i was all alone at home !
except for the fact that i had a company .
for a SHORT SHORT while .
but oh yes .
at least i had company . x)
anyways .
i only had a stick of chewy and a tiny snickers bar .
but that . i was able to last .

anyways .
im bored now .
byes ~ !

2005-06-23T13:09:00.000+08:00

oh . SORRY !
MELISSA SHAN !!

2005-06-23T11:59:00.000+08:00

oh no oh no .
i`m having muscle aches from all the drills i did ytd .
but i love fancy drills !
me meliisa shan and eli is the OBS rank ! WOOHOO !
we rock the GB fancy drill contingent !

hwalala .
ah . i`m alone at home .
so lonely .
anyways .
i know i`m not .
well . not yet .

and i`m going HIGH !

2005-06-22T17:14:00.000+08:00

oh yes . i missed melissa shan during obs ! i had to spell it out clearly for her ! xD

HAHAHA !
anyways. i`m back from my gramma`s house !
missed miie ?
i bet YES ! xD
HAHAH . and my gramma is so nice !
i love my gramma !
oh yes . we were supposed to have obs reunion !!
marco polo and dagama .
and guess what ? it was cancelled . oh no .
i`m so sadd .
i miss obs okay ?
and melissa shan had to remind me about obs today !
when we went for END combined rehearsals .
i have just one thing to say about the BB guys !
their drills are so .. WOW . and and and . i think GB is quite slack laa .
our dressing out . we will blame the parade ground .
HAHAH . but that`s not the point . anyways.

yes yes . oh . and you know what ?
the hornet sting mark is getting redder and more bruised .
oh yay !
i wanna have a scar . so i`ll rmbr obs FOREVER !
i love obs !
i think i`m suffering from after effects of obs .
AHAHHA .

i`m sorry .
for mistaking mr cheong as miss yap . -sorry miss yap .
for mistaking lynne as miss ng . -sorry lynne .
HAHAH . i was as blur as you-know-who ! xD

2005-06-17T16:45:00.000+08:00

oh yes .
i forgot to add !
a hornet stung me !
it was so darn pain !
and that wee how said it was okayy .
i wont die ?
HAHAH .
i was lyk .
ohshits .
die die die .
i dont wanna die in ubin .
i wanna die in spore !
HAHAH .
x)

2005-06-17T15:19:00.000+08:00

I MISS YOUU!

hahah . i LOVE LOVE LOVE obs !! i wanna go again !
with the same group of people !
plus minus here and there !
HAHAH . okayy .
i love marco polo ! xD
cos there`s MEEE !
oh yess. who`s in my group ?
`salina
`hema
`sarah
`shermaine
`jali
`haja
`hua boon
`jingsheng
`hui qi
`genevieve
`nurul
`camillia
`hakim
`azri
`rachelkwan xiao wei ! XD

HAHAH ! yes yes . and it was fun fun fun !
oh yess. and my height phobia !
it harm-ed me !
AHHH . stupid thing !
who ask me to almost died inn p5.
when i was pushed down from a 4storeys high building .
and i wasnt prepared .
i let go of my hands on the harnest .
and almost die`d !
ahahha ..
ANYWAYS .
back to obs .
like i said . it was FUN !
and i really enjoyed it !
HAHAH .

first day was rather boring .
cos i was bothered by the fact that they just told me that i had to report on monday on the night before , which was sunday night !
yess . and like i said . i had to wake up at lyk 5:30am on monday to pack my bag !
and slept at 6am and woke up at 6:30am again to set off for school !
we were at the punggol jetty there and we only left that place around 10am .
wahhh . make me wake up so early can ?
HAHAH . anyways .
now i dont regret .
so yess .
then they told us our groups !
HAHA . i heard apollo !
then i was lyk , wth ?
apollo ? what a name can ?
hahah . yes yes .
and we played icebreakers !
i had to part with my phone for FIVE whole days . i miss my phone !
and and .
guess what ?
i`m typing faster than what the computer can read !
HAHAH .
this is badd .
so badd .
i`m too kan cheong alr .
i wanna blog out everything about obs .
before i forget anything .

no no .
the memories will always stay in me .
and the experience will be in me forever .
and i will never forget marco polo !
HAHAH !
and and and.
whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger !
obs didnt kill me ! it made me STRONGER THAN YESTERDAY !
HAHAH .

anyway . we packed our bags into our room .
then we played some MORE games !
HAHAH . blindfold and trustfall .
oh yes oh yes . it was a rather boring day on the first day .
cos we were not really warmed up .
we`re still like COLD .
yes yes .
we`re not bonded as a group yet !
and and .
we went to pitch tents and then later .
cooked dinner in the dark .
by the beach !
HAHAH . you all might think it`s romantic .
nice ambience !
certainly NOT !
hahah .
cos cos .
we cooked rice !
and the rice took sucha long time to cook .
and when it was half cooked ,
we smelt BURNT RICE ?
wth ?
hahah . we made do with whatever we have .
and we ate and ate and ate and ate ! XD
peanuts ! baked beans ! sausages ! and BURNT rice .
how nice ! X)

the next day !
tuesday -14062005
it`s CHANXI `s bday !
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CHANXI !
i remembered your birthday !
and i thought of youu and i missed youu !
HAHHA . margs too !!!
AHAHAH ! yes yes . be honoured i missed you all .
and oh yes. had to have dance prac that day .
sorry amelia .
was at obs , having FUN !
HAHAH .

and and and .
we learnt to kayak !
me and salina were kayak experts !
HAHAH . we reached the island the lastest ! XD
so strong of us ehh ?
HAHHA .
yes yes .
we kayak finish alr .
eat lunch -biscuits bread apple .
then joined and team with dagama .
eilynn nina melissa ng meiryl and jasrine`s group .
yes yes .
and we were SUPPOSED to kayak to some ulu-ated campsite .
no water supply and stuff .
but but but .
the weather wasnt that perfect .
so we kayak from the jetty and back to the jetty again .
yes yes .
and i thank God for bad weather for once !
if not .
we`ll be lyk stranded on some ulu-ated island .
yes yes .
at least we stayed back at camp2 .
still got some water supply .
but still , we cant bathe .
but that`s only for one day .
not lyk that time .
mount ophir .
never bathe and never brush teeth for 3d2n .
wa lao .
stinks laa .
yes yes .

third day !
we kayaked halfway to camp1 to seek shelter from rain .
and then went on our way to the ulu-ated campsite .
hahah .
we had a powder bath !
thank`s to sarah who brought more than SUFFICIENT powder !!
HAHAH .
and we tried to build a raft .
but we failed to stabilise it .
last barrel !
HAIYOOHH!
instructors so strict can ?
10 more min also cannot give us arrh ?
HAIYAHH!
anyways . we did our best laa .
yes yes .
go marco polo !
HAHHA .
anyways . we still got to jump into the water thing .
shiok sia !
HAHAH . nice nice water !
and we played and we played and we played .
stmargs unite !
and we played and we played and we played.
until time was up .
we had to hike back to camp one .
the hike was horrible laa .
walk so much !
and then we went wrong route .
until there was little time left .
then my instructor led us back to camp1.
haiyooh !
oh yes . and my instructor`s name , WEEE HOOOW !
HAHAH . no no .
wee how x)
yes yes .
-muscular !
HAHAH .
reached camp1 we pitched out tents !
and we had GOOD FOOD !
yes yes .
well , better than our own-cooked food !
HAHAH .
and we could finally BATHE !
and and and sleep !
that night , terrible night !

the next day .
thursday .
news spread -
woops .
we ate breakfast !
and and and .
we climbed high elements .
ohman .
i climbed the high high thing with jingsheng .
wow ? jingsheng . youre so powerful !
HAHAH . he climb so fast laa .
i bet without me he can climb until reach the top and summore and summore .
hahah . okayy .
that was an exaggeration .
and the rock climbing wall .
i climbed with genevieve .
yes yes . and she climbed to the top i think .
whilst i was at the bottom of the bottomest .
yess . so weak . so weak .
and and and .
after that we hiked back to camp2 .
original campsite.
yes yes. we took lyk what ?
20minutes to reach there ?
yeaa. so fast can ?
can can .
and we reached camp2 .
pitched our tents .
and cooked our food .
packed everything alr .
then went to bathe .
sleep .
salina sarah and i in a tent .
then we poked our heads outta the tent .
then opp us is hui qi genevieve and shermaine`s tent .
the diagonally opp is the guys` tent .
jali hua boon and jingsheng .
hahah .
me and salina talk talk to jingsheng hua boon and jali .
then sarah talk to genevieve .
then very funny .
when wee how come .
we hurry hurry go sleep .
then salina and i talk talk .
then i was like .
salina . dont sleep talk laa .
disturb me . then salina laa. stupid stupid say she not sleep talking .
HAHAHAH .
oh yes . we heard hakim snore !
MOO MOO MOO !
hahah . yes yes .
very funny !
HAHHA .
and then we finally fell asleep .

friday !
the long-awaited day had come ..
but we all realised that we didnt wanna leave .
you know what is she bu de ?
yes . we she bu de leave our newly-made friends .
so yes .
but we had to leave .
that`s a fact .
one short camp .
we should have marco polo reunion !
HAHHA.
anyways .
i`m ~~starting~~ missing marco polo and obs !

HAHAH . i love obs !! x)
gonna go church later .
bro wants to use the comp .
blog later . if i dont forget !
HAHH ! x)

2005-06-13T00:34:00.000+08:00

ohmymy . i`m back after one camp . and off for another !
let me say something .
GB camp is rather SLACK !
i super cannot tahan many things , many people .
but i`ll have to just live with it .
time will change everything and everyone .

and and .
next up is obs !
ohmymy .
i`m probably gonna be dead tired when i reach home !
what a last minute thing .
mdm roseenah called me at 9:30pm .
to tell me to report in school at 7am tmr .
i just finished packing my bag .
and i have not enough clothes !
ahh heck !
i stink laa .
i gotta wake up early tmr !

AND TO AMELIA CHIA YI QIN ! IF YOU EVER READ THIS !
I CANT MAKE IT FOR DANCE PRACTICE !
I`LL BE AT OBS !
MISS MEE ! PRAY FOR MEE !
AND SORRYY ! =)

2005-06-08T20:31:00.000+08:00

i`m so scared . i`m so sorry . it wasnt supposed to turn out this way . sorry . forgive me !

AHHAHH ! today`s geog lesson was rather boring .
shitsaye ! i so hate everything .
there`s camp tmr !
and we`re so gonna be in for torture .
wish me all the best man !
see me die .
probably gonna drown on the first day .
tmr . when i go for kayaking .

i`ll miss you all !
i`ll miss margs .
i`ll miss chan xi .
i`ll miss tamm .
i`ll miss ame .
i`ll miss kor kor .

-i`ll miss you all . x)
-i`ll miss you . you . you . and still you . yess .

oh oh oh . my my my . nevermind`s . i feel so stupiid all of a sudden !!
oh wow ? AHAHAH .
i`m the smart one !

why why why ? i dont like it either !!
LYNNE ! why are you not my kayaking partner ? HAHAH .
rmbr last year ?
we you kayak so fast . so fast .
HAHAH !! then i sit behind and relax and tann ! xD
i want youu to be my kayak partner !!
AHAHAH !

2005-06-07T10:33:00.000+08:00

WAHAHH ! chelc rawks ! youu shall be my lao gong ! HAHAH . yes yes. or i can be youur lao gong also can ? but a bit wrong. i`m youur little god ! youure my angel ! XD yes yes. youu shall be my angel. wo ai ni always , lao gong ! AHAHHA . double-meaning. read it closely !! x)

2005-06-07T10:04:00.000+08:00

BACK ! salina`s church alpha youth camp was FUN and i did ENJOY ! yes yes. fun fun fun. learnt more about EVERYTHING ! too lazy to sum it all up. maybe go read salina `s blogg.

HAHAH. yes yes. i made NEW friends ! i`m so friendly ! so sociable ! HAHHA. fiona jeslyn alicia rebecca. yes yes. NICE people from salina`s church.

oh yes. and alvin and dawn`s parents sent me home ytd ! they stay in bishan ! near my house ! thankyouu alvin ! thankyouu dawn ! if you all ever read this ! XD -love

shitsaye ! GB enrichment camp FOOD arent ready ! let us all STARVE !! i cant contact miss ling ! HOWW ?

2005-06-04T00:31:00.000+08:00

HELLOS !
i love ashley and char !
we walked from plaza sing to far east to pacific plaza to wisma to taka then took mrt to cityhall and we walked from citylink to suntec city to millenia walk ! just to find my present ! a NEW slingbag ! xD
yes yes !
and we watched MADAGASCAR !
`i like to move it move it . you like to .. MOVE IT !
HAHAH ! rawks ! xD

so sadd. elfifi cant come ! sick ! urghs !
elfifi ! HAHA . joycelyn , nice name for elfreda ! xD
we`ll go out some other time !
when elfifi gets well ! XD

yes yes .
anyways. reached home.
bathed. and went for cell.
i hadnt eaten dinner !
i skipped dinner but had supper !
HAHAH !

yes yes. tammy ! i `m gonna cut my hair !
short ? i dont know. but i`m definately gonna cut it !
SOMEDAY !
oh yess. tamm ! i`ll cut my hair SHORT only if i`m loveless !
but now, i`m loveful ! cos i have *youu ! HAHAH !
yess ! so why should i cut my hair SHORT ?
AHAH !!

ohyes. a lil note to charmaine.
dont be too bothered about everything okayy ? God knows youre trying your very best ! continue to shower youur care to her . i`m sure one day she`ll realise how wonderful youu are ! YES YES ! just remember ! every part of you and your life is carefully and wonderfully planned by God ! xD yess. so this miight just be another of God`s plan ! =)

2005-06-02T18:32:00.000+08:00

HELLO -s !
i`m outing tmr !
with ash and char and fred !
havent gone out with them since 43298470217 years !
ohmymy !
missed those days !
HAHA . i sound so old !
anyways !

amelia came to my house just now !
to use the com !
HAHAH. thankME !
x) i wanna do amath test #1 and #4 !
shd i do it now or later ?
i`m one BIGG FATT slacker !
a potential procrastinator ! xD

2005-06-02T15:07:00.000+08:00

okkayys. ohmymy !
i just printed out one whole STACK of amath and emath assignment !
it looks so UN-do-able !
AHAH HAHA !
i wanna die alr laa.
so many many questions can ?
HAIYOO !

AHAH !!
i`d probably DIE !
my com is lagging !
crap crap crap !! x)

toodles ~*

2005-06-01T11:36:00.000+08:00

okayy. anyhoww. i went to school just now EARLY in the morning .
to pass up my OBS form !
i`m just a reserve btw.
and i`m so proud of it !

HAHAH . anyways.
oral later.
you all might think i have the gift of the gap.
well. the truth is , i dont .
i only have the gift of the crap !
see ? crappy me ! HAHAH .

ohyes ! tammy ! come to me for counselling !
it`s FOC !
and guarantee FUN FUN FUN !
and you can also help me build up on my pschological skills
i need for my future job!
how WONDERFUL !
how HELPFUL !

ohh . i see that my june holidays are gonna be .
really really busy .
studying and all.
camps and all.
planning and all.
yess. youu and all.
outings and all.

i wanna go TANNING ! salina -when ?
HAHA. we shall invite eli to tann with us ?
no . maybe we`ll just go to her restaurant for some YUMMY food !
yes yes yes ! xD

hahah .

mising youu .

2005-05-31T20:46:00.000+08:00

okayy. i shall start blogging abt my day, today !

early in the morning !

kor kor msg`ed me , ask me to wear class t !

i was overjoyed !! HAHA.

cos i thought cannot wear.

yays ! i`m so proud of 3e5`s class tee !

why ? cos there`s lyk my name on it !

HAHAH .

okayy. enough said .

chem lesson was okay.

time passed rather ~~fastly~~ quickkly !

and soon ! we were OUT !

me margs and chanxi !

hahah. we went to cine. bought ticks.

-my boyfriend is type B -korean movie !

hahah. buy alr. then went yoshinoya to EAT !

yes yes.

hahah . then we went heeren.

walked ard. bought my lollipops !

and TWO hairbands!

pink and blue !

went back to cine to watch the movie !

HAHAH. quite farnie laa.

the way they speak and everything .

HAHAH !

chan xi made a blundle !

HAHHAHA. laugh with mee chanxi !

HAHAHHA . cos cos cos.

there`s this couple behind us.

one ask the other.

take the lift isit ?

then chanxi, thinking i was the one who asked that question, said YES so loudly.

and she turned her head to realise she was talking to some stranger !

HAHAH .

then she turned to me !

and we started to laugh ! HAHAH .

lyk some crazy humans !

HAHHAHAH .

riight chanxi ?

HAHHA !!

HAHAH . we had fun today didnt we ?

2005-05-31T18:34:00.000+08:00

okayy. i have lyk only 1hr to use the comp everyday. life is torturing. i knew it long long ago.
yes. i finally got a scolding from my parents.
haaa. yes. a scolding not just a hearing, felix.
wahhh. they make me sound so stupiid.
but i think i did quite okay what.
with an L1R5 of 20 for midyears.
that`s not bad alr, i thought.
but no. it is definately so badd.
so badd to them. i knew they`d make ugly comments on it.
but just when i thought all was calm.
the raging storm occured. okay.
let`s analyse. i gave my father my report book on friday.
he said nothing.
sat passed. sun passed. and nothing he said.
finally. monday. he said EVERYTHING !
urghs. this is so infuriating !

curfews he made :
`cannot exceed my sms (at most exceed by100)
`cannot watch too much tv (inference : no watching tv at all)
`cannot go out too often (inference : can only go out less than 5 times during holidays)
`cannot talk on the phone too often (inference : dont talk) *what i plan to do is talk during the peaceful niight, when they`re all ASLEEP ! and no one would bother me. but the thing is. everyone wld be asleep at niight. no one wld wanna talk to me ! AHAHA. da jie shall be my talking partner ! xD very long nvr talk lyk how we used to talk during pri5 and pri6 alr. we shall talk from morning 1am to morning 5:30am. and put down the phone, just before my parents wake up x) SMART me !
`1hr on the comp (i miight stretch it to 1 and a half hours)
`BEST results ! improve by at least 5 points for my L1R5

i feel so damn restricted. AHHH. i`m gonna really STUDY this whole holidays ! i dont know how ! but i WILL ! when there`s a WILL there`s definately gonna be a WAY ! xD

2005-05-30T18:59:00.000+08:00

wo ai ni

ai zhe ni

jiu xiang lao shu ai da mi

bu guan you duo shao feng yu

wo dou hui yi ran pei zhe ni

wo xiang ni

xiang zhe ni

bu guan you duo mo de ku

zhi yao neng rang ni kai xin

wo shen me dou yuan yi

zhe yang ai ni

holidays are starting to suck. i`m bored to the core. no one can play with me ! HAHA. no one can talk to me. =\

2005-05-30T13:51:00.000+08:00

lyk wth ? my bro is screaming and shouting at miie cos i dont let her use the com ! AHH. the com is MINE okay ?! at least. mine for now ! and what does he wanna do with the com anyway ? this is so frustrating !

i need a punchingbag ! i wanna punch scream shout cry and vent my anger on someone ! not something ! venting it out on something is useless ! AHAHAHH ! i wanna ~~cry~~

i just realised mayday`s (wu yue tian) songs are kinda nice ? but i`d be faithful to 5566 still. although i know i`m not so. AHAHH. nvrms . i`m itching. my arms and legs are still mosquito-bitten ! AHAH !!

ai rang ren fa liang rang wo yong gan . nice song. by The Baby`s HAHA.

2005-05-30T10:16:00.000+08:00

1 corinthians 13:4-8
love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects always trusts, always hopes, always persevers. love never fails.

yes yes. the bible is indeed a love story ! x) okay. i love this verse.

Romans 3:23-24
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified freely by His grace throught the redemption that came by Christ Jesus

take time to understand what these verses mean to youu.

2005-05-30T09:29:00.000+08:00

i`m bored and bored and bored and still bored. what can i do ? i must finish my assignments before 3rd week of June ! so i can enjoy !! x) -whatever. holidays are never like how they are supposed to be !

anyways. i`m bored. most probably going to library later. eee. so boring. but what can i do ? i have to go find that 2 books for the english assignment thing ! and tmr is chem lesson. AHHH. rubbish will always be rubbish laa.

i wanna go watch madagascar ! who wanna go watch with miie ? i`m sucha poorthing-ed ! no one can go out with mee !! AHAHAHAH !

and i realised i cannot go build houses anymore ! oh no. i`m so sadd. anyways. i will try to convince myself that it`s okay.

ahahh. i`m so bored can ? boredom can kill ! x\ boredom is not nice. i have no inspiration for a poem. anyways. my hp bill is due !
ohmymy ! am i gonna die ?
i think i will die ! ahahh.
die die and die ! x

i wish to die. i dont wanna live.

seeing you so helpless. and i cant do anything to help.

i feel so helpless for you too. and i am sorry.

for i am in the same state as i was a month ago .

2005-05-29T21:33:00.000+08:00

okay. ytd at pulau ubin. walked for 3 whole hours ? LEGS almost died on miie ! AHHH. why did i become stupidier to decide to walk ? HAIYOOO!

anyways. me and melissa shan were partners ! oh yes ! MELISSA SHAN ! i will try to dream of youu okayy ? yes. i try my miight ! HAHA. anyway. me and melissa shan grouped with stephanie and sheila ! HAHA. and we walked our way around pulau ubin !
we were sociable people ! HAHA. me was the sociablest ! cos we were finding checkpoint 9. then we walk walk walk. then ask every GB gerl or BB guy along the way where station9 was ! HAHA. and stupid 64th ! come bluff us. say checkpoint9 is at the fishfarm. go there one dead end can ? HAIYOO ! and we were lost in the jungle trek lorhhs. mr baldie bertram cheong arhh. what kind of BB guys youu have ar ? HAHA.
but we`re nice nice GB gerls. we forgive them ! xD so forgiving ! who ask us to have BIG hearts ? and and and. how did youu lyk our singing and our screams ? we can be partners. and we`ll sing for youu. and youu can erhh.. dance for us ? HAHAH. yes yes.
anyways. on the boat ride back to singapore. we were snapping shots of clouds and sea water ! HAHAH. one word. ENJOY ! and i did enjoy, apart from the leggs-suffering moments. i enjoyed every bit of ~~pulau ubin~~ bike for bibles ! x)

the song playing : i dont wanna let you go ~ i just wanna live with youu .

at my grandfather`s house at the moment. ooh yes. i shall talk about my sunday. oh yes. ytd i learnt lotsa stuff ! i shall list them out ? nvm. i know can alr. the stuff i learnt miight not be the stuff that you wanna learn ! x)

anyways. early this morning ! at ard 6am. WAHHH. so scary ! i ~~cant~~ dont wanna say. come ask me. maybe i`ll tell youu. i`m so scared now. PRAY ! anyways. went to church ! ame and tamm never come laa. haiyoo. then me and my sis there ! AHHH. me and my sis ONLY ! lonely people ! anyways. i listened to sermon tdy !

2 words that would change my life ! ~~i do~~ ~~hang yourself~~ YES LORD !
YES LORD to confession . YES LORD to confidence YES LORD to commitment !
Jesus is able to save , subdue , satisfy and secure ! HAHAH. am i a good gerl ? oh yes. i am. i listened to sermon ! xD

after church. went to buy lunch. wa lao. my sis face blacker than the sky can ? HAIYOO ! and not long after. it started to rain ! ohyes. we sang nice songs tdy ! Holy Spirit rain down. and center of it all. nice nice. anyways. we bought lunch. reached home, half-drenched ! and i changed out. ate and slept.

woke. watched tv. used the com. and went to my grandfather`s house ! HERE i am now !! anyways. amanda isnt here. and i`m bored bored bored and still bored ! amanda went to china ! and theresa has chi o`s tmr. that explains why she`s not here. michelle went out with jaime to westmall. leaving me here with. no one. okay. my other immature cousins ! HAH. lyk im very mature ? not as immature as them la.

and and and. i`ve got new jeans. specially cut for me from my cousin ! HAHA. no laa. it was a mistake, then he had to buy it. cos he made a mistake for the customer. something liddat laa. then he buy it. wanna dump it at home. then yima bring for me. i can wear can alr ! YES. then dont needa waste his money. anyways. he was nice to ask me if i liked it and if it was okay for me. it felt weird tho. since when he so polite ? HAHA. must be tamed by his girlfriend laa. good good !

anyways. i`m rather lonely now. no one wants to talk to mee. cos i dont feel correct. i think there`s something wrong with me man ! i must learn to change, for the better !

2005-05-29T17:32:00.000+08:00

okay. i`m overly tired. and i think i`m gonna plonk and sleep forever.
now. i shall reflect on term2 ?
yes yes.

okay. let`s see. erhh. term2 wasnt a really good term was it ?
but okay. i had my fair share of fun joy peace and laughter !
but i also had a fair share of sufferings pain and sadd moments.
anyways. i know. i shouldnt be thinking of all the sad things that had happened, but more of the happy times i spent with friends that made me laugh and smile. and just said something nice to cheer me up.
i really thank God for all my friends. and i pray they wouldnt leave me.
yes. i guess, to me, friends are the most important in my life, apart from God, that is. yes. family. i dont feel part of them anymore. i dont know. maybe this is something behind God`s plan in my life.
i dont know. but i feel closer to friends than family. i dont wanna go in depth. it`ll hurt me more ? so yea.
anyways. the happy moments we spent tgtr will never be forgotten. and each of my friends polays a very important role in my life and in moulding me into what has become of me. they also have a very special place in my heart. each of you are in my heart ! i share my heart with you. x) haha.
okay. that was nonsense? haiyahh. i love my friends la, basically.

and for those sad moments that i wish hadnt happened. i am still learning to understand that everything is part of God`s plan. and i know He has a special purpose and i am still discovering it. i want to forget all those unhappy moments. and get on with life. life like before. and i know i can do it. can i ?

sadd moments should be lessons for us. and once we learnt that lesson. we must know that we should never repeat it.

all the hurts and pain i suffered. i wanna erase it all. but i know. it`ll stay in me forever. and i have to live with it. i will, someday, learn how to forget everything.

i resolve to be happy now and forever. and there are times when i can be angry sad and scared. but i musnt let these WEIRD emotions overcome me that i live in fear and hatred. yes. i`ll live day by day. knowing that you care.

2005-05-29T00:01:00.000+08:00

anyways. i came back all tired from pulau ubin. life there is terrible. and i just realised. it`s the end of another term. i shall have to do my own reflections. and yes.

friday`s dinner at church was quite alriights . yess. cos we cooked the chicken and the fries at biru`s house ! HAHAH.
and and . we sang songs of praise on the rooftop of church ! i feel win in my hair ! HAHA. i`m sucha piece of crap.

wo ai ni. ai zhe ni. jiu xiang lao shu ai da mi ~
x)

2005-05-28T00:33:00.000+08:00

i`m so super pissed and sad and angry. please let me vent my feelings ! AHH. i know i shdnt hate ! but this is terrible. i`m hating all of them ! all as in all. the people i know. who i can really count on are little. list-able. i dont know. i really think no one cares. i am one friendless being. no one wants to make friends with someone lyk mee ! i dont know. i`m gonna die. tmr. as in today ! AHH. my father`s mad at my results. and i`m darn pissed with himm. not as if i didnt try my best. not as if i`m that clever. not as if i can get into RJC. not as if he`s cleverer than me. not as if i cant get a better pay when i grow up. not as if i cant do well in o levels. why does he always have to judge ?!

2005-05-27T15:12:00.000+08:00

eee. okay. i read tamm`s WEIRD entry. anyways.
i`m ~~sad~~ depressed today.
i can scream shout and lie on the floor to cry !
ohmymy. why ?
and my throat hurts terribly.
chanxi knows why.
i tell you why.
cos the fish bone that i swallowed ytd slit my throat, i can die !
yes yes. let`s all just die ~

anyways. today IS a sad day.
i had to RE-RUN my 2.4 !!
lyk wth ? i tell that stupid teacher
whose name, of all names, had to be miss rachel cheng
that i cldnt run.
i wasnt born a runner. and she didnt believe.
i cried to her. and she didnt accept it !
AHHH. and i still failed !
stupiidity lies in the mind of miie !! x
anyways. report book time. i revealed my sadness.
as in before report book time and during and after.
oh yes. no.2 and you-know-who made me angry again.
okay. maybe not you-know-who.
just no.2. but neverminds.
i will forgive her.
and i have one impt qtn.
is forgiving accepting ?
for me, i dont think so.
but what`s the actual answer ?

i have GB tmr !
it`s on a sat ! lil excited but really draggy to go for GB tmr.
first time since 2005, GB on a sat !
everything`d be lyk as per normal, lyk before ! xD
hahah. and i have bike for bibles tmr !
AHHHH. we`re all on a strike ! we dont wanna hike ! (:

i am stressed over many things.
i think i need counselling ! =\

2005-05-26T21:36:00.000+08:00

woots ! ive been eating sashimi every single day ! eat until so sick of it ! but it`s still as nice as ever ! HAHA. cos ive got one whole lot of it at home. eat until die, still eat.

anyways. i think i`m pretty weird this few days . i tend to not sleep throught the night. i will wake up in the middle of the night and think of things ! HAHA. all sorts of things. everything under the sun. from friends to class to CCA to family to church to food to songs ! HAHAH. yes. i am crazy ! or rather, there`s really something wrong with miie ! x\ yikes. and i dont know what`s wrong. and i`ve been having weird dreams lately. weird people appear in my dreams ! HAHA. and once they appear, they scare me until i wake up. okay. i dreamt of lynne camille chanxi margaret ji yan amelia ng amelia bulnor stephanie priscilla tan sheila elizabeth salina and joanna. and the weirdest thing of all is that they appear at the same time ! and they appear just to say bye bye ! -.-" i dont get that dream. please teach me how to interpret it ! HAHAH. i woke up ! and i couldnt sleep until later ! HAHAH xD

anyways. dreams appear and i dont get to sleep. this is bad. so bad. i dont want dreams, if i ever had a choice .

tmr`s report book day ! am i dead ? or am i dead ? let`s die tgtr !

2005-05-26T20:09:00.000+08:00

eee. today was supposed to be a sad day. and people made me happy ! x)
hahah. okay okay. today. what happened ?
oh oh. miss galvin came into class !
and i want physics tuition ! xD
ahahha. anyways. we had amath after geog.
and we chased mrs khor outta class !
so we rawk or we rawk ?
HAHAH. anyways. physics !
and we`ve got LOTS and LOTS of assignments/projects of all sorts !
and this is driving me so crazy !
and after physics. ss. eeew !
but it was quite okay. mr lee let us listen to song.
eeer.. i dont know what song la.
talk about anti-religion thing.
anyways. and and. after ss is history !
oh mans. miss ho gave us more more assignment !
am i dead ? definately ! xand after history is chemistry.
we chased ms siti outta the class again.
and after that, we invited her in.
and she spent ONE WHOLE LONG LESSON talking about pros and cons of suffering now and enjoying later.
HAHHA. and she finally started on mole ?
is mole nice ?
doesnt sound nice !
ive got 3 moles on my face !
HAHAH. that was rather stupiid !
i love ashley. cos she waited for me to go home tdy ! xD

2005-05-25T21:53:00.000+08:00

ohh. marg`s forbids me to smile. so sorry people. i cant smile. yess.

i`m in love !! so in love !! with the lao shu ai da mi song ! HAHA ! x) i`m loving it !

2005-05-25T21:07:00.000+08:00

gay-less

we are sad
people are bad
they do not care
for nothing, we share
we keep everything to ourselves
letting our sadness dwell
in our spirits
although we really hate it

yet we are glad
to have such lads
to be our friends
until the very end
we have each other
so we`ll have no more troubles
for we can share
the problems we bear

thakyou you all
for always being there
i know we all care
but we do not dare
to sound out your worries
or heads we bury
under the grounds
which can never be found

we are indeed sad people. we will cheer up, someday.

when will you walk into my life and light it up so brightly, just like before ?

2005-05-25T19:57:00.000+08:00

i just realised something TERRIBLE ! i havent told my parents my exam results yet ! am i dead ? or am i dead ? or am i deader ? AHHH. but they never ask me ! WHY ? are they waiting ? waiting for me to tell them ? i`m SCARED ! i need some courage ! x
anyways. today is a rather free day ! and i`m ohsosad ! and on top of that clarissa gan had to make me cry !! BWAHHH. so sad. so sad. x\ making me cry brings back all the unhappy moments of my life. all sumed tgtr. i sweaar i felt the worst today. i guess it`s the after effects of all that had happened. i know i know. i`m very useless. now. all seems true. and i must learn to take everything in my stride. AHHH. i wanna scream. scream at everything. AHHH. heck. i cant scream for nuts ! x
ohyes. i walked home with char today ! for the FIRST time ! quite a good excercis. HAHAH. shall walk home with her everyday ! xD yess. and she`ll walk me to the gate. and say bye bye to me. AHAHHA. okay. maybe that`s not a good idea. to walk so much. but that`s a GOOD excercise, for someone who really really hates excercising ! HAHA.

anyways. today. i almost died ! i lost the paper thing , which is ohso-important ! i`m dead. i told sheila. and i realised she cant help. i`m deader ! =\ and and and. stepahnie doesnt want to take the money i gave her ! kway wo hai dui ta na mo hao. HAIYOOHHH. my heart is gek-ing, yet no one knows.

AHHH. i just wish i could hide myself. hide myself in this hole. no one can ever find me. i wont be found till the day i die. no, till two weeks after the day i die. when my decomposed body gives out a pungent smell. yes. i know i`m running away. but i cannot help it. i wanna break free from this world. from the present.

no matter how much i hate the present, i`d never want to change the past. the unhappy moments and the happy moments will never be replaced. cos they are dear to me.

i`m listening to this song !! wo ai ni. ai zhe ni. jiu xiang lao shu ai da mi ! HAHA. one nice nice song ! i love you. so love you. just lyk how mouse loves da mi ? HAHAH. i`m mad. so mad. mad as in crazy and mad as in angry. AHHH.

2005-05-25T19:49:00.000+08:00

i love tamm. tamm loves mee. we`re happy family. with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you. wont tamm say she loves me more ! x) HAHAHAH. i love tamm ! thankyou ! <3

~*impossibly-possible*~

t under

~impossibly-possible~